You’ve likely heard it time and again—self-care is essential. Maybe you’ve even tried to embrace it, only to find yourself pushing it to the bottom of your to-do list. But why is it so difficult for women, especially those over 40, to truly commit to self-care?

The answer lies in the way we were raised and the roles we’ve been conditioned to play. If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself, you’re not alone. It’s become cliche, but self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation for purpose, joy, wellbeing, and even the legacy you leave behind.

What is self-care, really?

For many women, self-care has been misrepresented as indulgence: bubble baths, spa days, and beauty treatments. While those can be wonderful, true self-care is much deeper. It’s about actively supporting your wellbeing—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

At its core, it’s about honouring what you need to feel strong, free, and aligned with your deeper purpose. And yet, so many women struggle to prioritize it. Why?

The hidden struggles women face

One of the biggest reasons women neglect self-care is the deeply ingrained belief that our value comes from how well we take care of others. From a young age, we are taught that being a good mother, daughter, or partner means putting everyone else first. Even when faced with illness, many women continue to prioritize their families over their own well-being.

This pattern leaves little room for personal growth, reflection, and the kind of attention to yourself that allows you to step into your purpose and create a lasting legacy.

Another common struggle? The feeling that self-care is just another task on an already overwhelming to-do list. Some women even express frustration that the pressure to engage in self-care has become yet another expectation placed upon them.

So how do we shift this perspective?

Self-Care as a path to purpose and legacy

Instead of feeling that caring for your wellbeing is another obligation, consider it a powerful act of self-respect. The women I’ve worked with have discovered that the key is to focus on how they want to feel rather than on what they are “supposed to do.”

For some, self-care looks like eating well and moving their bodies. For others, it’s playing an instrument, attending a spiritual gathering, watching the sunrise, or even tidying up their home because it brings them a sense of peace.

The key is to listen to what your soul is asking for—not what society tells you self-care should look like.

Breaking free from expectations

Many women have shared that they needed another woman’s encouragement to finally give themselves permission to prioritize self-care. Whether it was a friend telling them to leave the dishes and take a walk, or a mentor reminding them that their alone time was sacred, having someone validate their needs made all the difference.

If you’ve been waiting for permission to take care of yourself, let me be that voice for you now:

You have permission to prioritize yourself.

You are allowed to create the feelings you want in your life, to pursue your passions, and to build a life that reflects your soul’s calling.

This is more than just self-care; it’s about reclaiming your power and making space for the wisdom that will shape your next chapter.

What’s your next step?

If this resonates with you, take a moment to reflect: What do you truly need right now? What would help you feel energized, grounded, and aligned? Start there. Your self-care is the foundation for everything you want to create in this world—your joy, your purpose, and the legacy you will leave behind.

If living in alignment with your authenticity and purpose feels like self-care to you, join us in the Wisdom Collective monthly membership here.